Poop Bags.

There is an odd phenomenon occurring daily on a trail near you. After you indulge me for the next 5 minutes, it will leap out at you from below a bush, tucked under a rock or even perched atop a fencepost.  The poop bag phenomenon has me perplexed.  Astounded actually.  I have analyzed it from every possible angle and have come to the conclusion you’ll read at the end.

It is generally agreed upon that everyone hates dog poop.  When you’re out enjoying nature and you see five piles of dog poop beside the trail, it bugs you, it angers you, it grosses you out.  If a person is going to take their dog for a walk and the dog poops, it is proper etiquette for the person to bag it up and take it to the trash, therefore erasing all evidence of the aforementioned dog.  It is a courtesy to other walkers and according to many, a courtesy to the environment.

This trail crew kindly labeled the mailbox full of poop bags.

This trail crew kindly labeled the mailbox full of poop bags.

But, the poop bag phenomenon occurs in a different manner than the above described.  I’ve never participated, but have only observed, so I can speak solely from my position of assumption maker.

I think we can all agree that walk preparation begins innocently enough.  The thoughtful dog owner brings with him/her a grocery bag, newspaper bag, produce bag or the like, when leaving for a walk.  Said bag is always plastic.  The bag is pocketed, or in some cases tied to the dog’s collar, in the event it is needed to “Keep Our Trails Clean!”  In  my personal opinion, if the dog is going to poop by the trail, he SHOULD carry the bag.  It’s his responsibility to participate in the solution to the problem, right?  You don’t need that plastic bag all hot and sweaty and wadded up in your pocket, correct?

It’s when the dog actually poops that the phenomenon occurs.  The owner stands aside, either smiling proudly at the pup, “Good Boy!  The walk worked!  You’re going potty!  Ooooohhh, no more constipation for you, sweetie pie!”  or, turns away pretending to enjoy the view and acts as if nothing is going on, so as to give the dog its constitutionally given right to privacy.

Then, the dog lover prepares the plastic bag, glove-like over the naked hand, picks up the poop, ties the bag into a knot using tea-cup fingertips to carefully avoid any traces of poop smeared on the edge of the bag…

…and here goes…

…SETS IT BACK DOWN!  Right next to the other four un-bagged previously pooped piles.

Why on earth would the owner do that?

At the base of the poop bag mail box...a plethora of soon-to-be archeological artifacts.

At the base of the poop bag mail box…a plethora of soon-to-be archeological artifacts.  The one on the right is triple bagged, may even make it to the 2000 year mark.

The following are my assumptions:

1.  Said owner plans to retrace his/her route and retrieve the poop bag.

2.  Said owner forgets to return for the poop bag.

OR,

3.  Said owner thinks, “I just started my walk, and I won’t even be coming back this way!  I don’t want to walk back to the car and leave it by the door so I’ll remember to take it to the trash…I guess I’ll just leave it here and maybe someone will be kind enough to take it out on their way.  It IS in a bag, you know, so it should be SIMPLE for someone to do that!”

Based on the weathered appearance of this bag, the whole "maybe someone will pick it up for me" plan doesn't appear to work.

Based on the weathered appearance of this bag, the whole “maybe someone will pick it up for me” plan doesn’t appear to work.

Next, I want to point out a few facts:

A.  Plastic bags biodegrade in 20-1000 years, according to conflicting information on Google.  In 20 years, the poop will be a white rock.  In 1000 years, it will be a fossil that some archeologist will discover, wondering, “what was this 1000 year old artifact encased in that preserved it so well?.”

B.  Un-bagged dog poop takes 6 months to a year to decompose.

Black is sure to keep out all sunlight, further slowing the decomposition process.  Future archeologists will thank you.

Black is sure to keep out all sunlight, further slowing the decomposition process. Future archeologists will thank you.

Now for my conclusion:

If you’re not going to take it with you, don’t bag it.  But, by all means, don’t just leave it there either.  Grab a stick and flick it way off the trail into some bushes, hopefully in large chunks because when it breaks into smaller pieces, it becomes much more challenging to flick.

Hands down my favorite.  Green bag.  Blends in with the environment.  Why not camoflauge when depositing the poop bag?

Hands down my favorite. Green bag. Blends in with the environment. Why not camouflage when depositing the poop bag?

I can already hear the dog poop fanatics though…DON’T EVER LEAVE YOUR DOG POOP BEHIND!  It will just contaminate the water source downstream!!!  Well, I don’t disagree with you there, but hear me out.  If you are the person who doesn’t transport your dog’s poop to the nearest trashcan, don’t be the person who just leaves it on the edge of the trail to stink, to ruin the day of the person who steps in it and to contaminate the water supply!

Be at least kind enough to flick away the smell and save the shoes of your fellow walker, even if you still need to contaminate the water supply.  Your dog’s poop will turn into compost much faster out of a plastic bag than in one.

-  The Goat Cheese Lady

P.S.  In researching the sketchy facts for this post, I found two interesting sources…Plastic vs. Cloth vs. Paper and Ban the Bag.

 

 

 

Posted in Farm Life, funny stories, Google | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

For Sale: Here Are Some Pictures Of The House!

Welcome!  Thanks for stopping by!  Come on in!

052

Step onto the deck and walk past the north facing window, then turn left…

054

…to see the most beautiful view…

042

of Pikes Peak!

050

Through the west wall of windows!

049

All of the sliding windows in the upstairs have been replaced with vinyl.

034

Come in the front door to the dining room…

035

…and kitchen!

032

Now to the living room, just around the corner of the double sided, gas fire place.

031

Here’s the hallway bathroom with bathtub and shower…and laundry chute inside the tall closet on the right!

029

The master bedroom…

030

…and bathroom with shower.

027

Upstairs Bedroom #2…

026

Upstairs Bedroom #3…

039

Descend the open stairway to the large basement with wood burning fireplace…

038

…and gigantic storage room!

040

And, the 4th Bedroom with its own  3/4 bathroom!  (great for guests, teenagers  or Bed and Breakfast!!)

The laundry room is also downstairs and there is a two car attached garage just off the kitchen.

Did you enjoy the tour?  Come back soon for a tour of the barn and greenhouse and garden and orchard!  There’s much more to see!

Currently, our house and property are for sale for $475,000 as is or $525,000 including deck, bathroom and other odds and ends repaired…Contact Lindsey 719-651-9819 or Herbert 719-651-6480 for a showing, but please, only if you are really interested in buying.

Thanks for joining me!

-  The Goat Cheese Lady

P.S.  We had two showings yesterday!!!!

Posted in Farm Life, For Sale | Tagged | Leave a comment

We’re Moving!

It’s not official yet, but we’re working on it.  It’s kind of shocking, I know.  I’m kind of shocked myself.  Not totally shocked though because last year around this time, we got the bug to move.  We just didn’t.  Last fall, we looked at property up near Cripple Creek for a while, decided we preferred more oxygen than that altitude provides, and then spring and kidding season came and we started running around like chickens with our heads cut off and stopped doing any thinking at all.  We milked until Popeye muscles popped out of our forearms, planted the garden and greenhouse and orchard, tended to baby goats and human children, made cheese and taught classes.  Now that it’s coming toward fall again, things are slowing down, the kids are back in school, the baby goats have moved on and the moms have dropped from 4 gallons a day to 1 ½, we have a few spare minutes to think…and dream…again.

When we moved into our house 5 years ago, I thought I would die here.  Not immediately, mind you, but in about 70 years or so.  It’s interesting how dreams and priorities change though.  We have learned through living here that we have a passion for goats, teaching, making cheese, being self-sufficient – and that The Animal Whisperer has a tractor addiction.  We have learned there is a powerful desire in the community for raw goat milk and locally produced goat milk cheeses.  And, we’ve learned that a big house invites accumulation of stuff we don’t need.

We want to move.

And, this year, we will.  We love what we do, we love where we live, but we want more land, more goats and a creamery.  We want to be producers of locally made goat cheese from a larger herd of goats that graze on pasture. We want to raise free range chickens and sell hundreds of dozens of fresh eggs.  We want the boys (and their darling mother) to have horses.  We want to build a log cabin, a well-appointed barn and licensed creamery somewhere close to Colorado Springs.  We want to sell our cheeses, lotions and soaps at a farm stand on our property, at farmer’s markets, and TO YOU!

If we could affordably do that by acquiring land in our neighborhood, we would.  Despite how much we love it here and how much work we’ve put into improving the soil and building the garden, greenhouse and orchard, and how awe inspiring it is to wake up every morning and see Pikes Peak just outside the window, we haven’t figured out how to get our dream to work here on our 1.6  acres with 4 milking goats.

Someone else will get a turn to live in this beautiful house with its incredible view, grow their garden in chemical free black gold with a timer controlled drip system, raise 9 foot tall tomato plants in the 30×15 passive solar greenhouse warmed by a  rocket heater, pick pears, apples, cherries, plums, peaches and apricots from the rain harvesting and permaculturally minded orchard, raise chickens, goats, or horses in the newly roofed barn with new cement floors (that make clean up a breeze), experience the beauty of walking in The Garden of the Gods – it’s basically in the backyard, and enjoy the tranquility of the country with the proximity of the city.  (I’d make a good realtor, huh?)

As far as some of the details go, our house needs some work, we will sell it as is for $475,000 (not including realtor fees).  If we fix the deck, the bathroom and other odds and ends, we will sell it for $525,000 (also not including realtor fees.)  We have decided to sell it ourselves and not hire a realtor because we have had such strong interest in it over the years that we think we will be able to come to an agreement easily with a potential buyer.

We will keep you updated and we thank you in advance for your well wishes.  For now, we’re still here!  We’re teaching classes through the end of October (sign up now so you don’t miss your chance!) and still milking goats!

-The Goat Cheese Lady

Posted in chickens, classes, Farm Life, For Sale, gardening, goats, Milking, Soap and Lotion | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Which Would Be Easier For You: Cut Out Vanilla or Cut Out Gluten?

Click Here To Buy Goat Milk Soap and Milk Lotion!

I’ve heard conversations between people about how hard it would be not to eat foods containing gluten.  They just can’t stand the idea of not eating bread!  It would be SOOO hard!  They LOVE bread, they don’t know HOW they could stop eating it if they were told they had to.

For the past three-ish weeks, I haven’t eaten bread.  Or anything with gluten in it due to the blood food allergy test I underwent a few weeks ago.

As you know, I came into this “diet” of avoiding all foods my blood shows allergies to, including avoiding gluten, because I have felt so exhausted that I can hardly (and sometimes don’t) get out of bed all day.  But, when you feel so horrible, you’ll do anything to fix it and, actually, not eating gluten has not been too bad.  I feel the occasional pang for an oreo and find it incredibly odd that red licorice is made with wheat flour, but it’s not killing me.

IMG_0010

Not eating gluten, almonds, kale, pineapple, eggs, cow’s milk, cottage cheese, green, black and red beans, and beef has not been hard at all.

But who knew VANILLA would be SO HARD?  I’m actually starting to hate the sight of the word “Vanilla”!!

130

If I didn’t love chocolate, avoiding vanilla would not be an issue and, as it turns out I’m not allergic to chocolate, YEAH!!!  But, VANILLA is in EVERY chocolate and every gluten, dairy and egg free cookie I can get my hot little hands on!

131

Therefore, nearly successfully preventing me from eating my favorite thing: chocolate.

I told you I could eat Nutella though, remember?  WRONG.  Bummer!!!  It doesn’t have vanilla in it, no siree, but it does have cow’s milk.  Mark that one off the list.

When given lemons, make lemonade, so the saying goes.  As applied to chocolate, it goes like this:  when given a bar of 100% cacao, melt it down and add sugar.  Vanilla free chocolate.

As for the first three weeks of being gluten, beef, almond, kale, pineapple, chicken egg, cow’s milk, cottage cheese, green, black and red bean AND vanilla free, to combat my fatigue, the jury’s still out.  I’ve also slightly decreased my antidepressant dose and have started hormone creams (all under the watch of the same doctor).  I felt pretty good on days 1-4, was 100% exhausted on days 5 and 6, had great energy days 7-15 and this afternoon (day 16) am pretty tired.  I’ll keep letting you know how things are going.

-  The Goat Cheese Lady

P.S.  If this were a cloud, the silver lining is that I’ve never gotten so much done as I did on days 7-15!  Amazing when you can stay awake all day how much gets accomplished!

 

Posted in Farm Life | 4 Comments

Showering with Sandpaper.

There are these things called shower gloves.  I learned of them four months ago and they received rave reviews from the woman who referred them to me.  They scrub off all the dead skin, gardening dirt and goat grime that accumulates on your unsuspecting, soap resisting skeleton sack.

156

Just the other day, they jumped out at me in the grocery store aisle.  Nearly made it right onto my hands.

$2.39 impulse purchase.

For me, the idea of having something that would REALLY clean my epidermis was attractive because I have found that even after I wash with really sudsy, deep cleaning goat milk soap, if I scratch my skin after showering, I sometimes end up with dirtish colored stuff under my fingernails.  Yuck.

Enter:  Shower Gloves.

156

I’ll attempt to paint a picture of the shower glove experience for you:

You stand under the cascading warm shower water, and melt into relaxation in your birthday suit.  You wash your hair and rinse.

Now that it’s time to wash your body, you don your shower gloves.

(Process this in your mind:  You are in the shower.  All wet.  You’re putting gloves on?  Your mind requires a reboot:  it thinks you must be mistaken and that you are actually going sledding.  Yet the gloves feel like sandpaper.  Reboot Again:  it now thinks you are a construction worker.  Naked.  In the shower.  Final Reboot:  yes, you are showering, with gloves on.)

You commence rubbing the bright blue, soapy sandpaper on your face, careful not to create rug burns.  Your legs and arms are tougher, you scrub them harder.  Dirt, grime, dead skin…THESE GLOVES TAKE NO PRISONERS.

You rinse off, get out of the shower and scratch.  Nothing under the fingernails.

The verdict:  They work.

But you’re still not sure if it’s wise to use sandpaper in the shower.  Just seems weird.

-  The Goat Cheese Lady

P.S.  According to my 7-year-old, weird is just a side effect of awesome.  I guess that makes shower gloves awesome?  Not sure about that yet.

P.P.S.  This is the uncut version of the same post that ran a couple of weeks ago on the IndyBlog.

Posted in Farm Life, gardening, goats, Soap and Lotion | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Summer Sale: Goat Milk Soap and Lotion!

We always have soap (and now lotion!) available at our farm for sale, but rarely do we offer it online.

053

Now is your chance to replenish your supply, and you will receive your order if you place it on or before Friday, August 22 at 5 pm.

CLICK HERE to see our soaps and lotion and place your order!

Thanks,

The Goat Cheese Lady and her soaps.

Posted in Farm Life, For Sale, goats, Soap and Lotion | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

What Would You Do?

If someone said you couldn’t eat gluten, eggs, black beans, red beans, green beans, vanilla, almonds, mushrooms, pineapple, beef or kale, OR drink cow’s milk or beer, what would YOU do?

Really.  Think about that for a second.

Gluten (i.e. bread, pancakes, cookies, muffins, flour tortillas, cookies, cookies, cookies).

Eggs.  From chickens.

Beef.  It’s what’s for dinner.

Beans.

Cow’s Milk.

Vanilla – it’s in ice cream, milk shakes, cookies, and even in chocolate chips!

Almonds.

Kale – the main ingredient in Kale Chips.

Beer.  Beer.  Beer.

What Would You Do?  Would you mourn your loss or would you celebrate the fact that you can still eat and drink all kinds of other things, including coffee, goat milk and chocolate?

That’s the question I was confronted with yesterday.  According to my doctor and after extensive blood tests, those are the things that, if I want to stop living a life on the roller coaster of  can’t-get-out-of-bed exhaustion, I have to stop eating.  Some for three months.  Some for one year.  Some forever.

And I celebrated!!!!!  I have figured out that because of this extreme, overpowering exhaustion, I lose one full month per year in days where I HAVE TO SLEEP.  When you lose as much time as that and feel as bad as I do on those days, you’ll do anything.  Including stop eating bread (yes, even my homemade bread), cookies and chocolate chips (because they contain vanilla).

I will no longer eat chicken eggs.  I’m allowed to eat duck eggs though, so I’ve already requested The Animal Whisperer get me some ducks.

I will not drink beer.  The good news here is, I hate beer.

I will stop eating chocolate chips with my coffee, and I have already determined that Nutella has no vanilla in it…so here comes afternoons with a spoonful of Nutella (instead of a handful of chocolate chips) with my coffee!

I can give up almonds.  That won’t be life changing.

I haven’t purposely drunk cow’s milk in years, giving it up shouldn’t be a problem, seeing that all things goat’s milk is our profession.

But the best news I found out yesterday, and what I was steeling myself against, is that I can still drink coffee and I can still drink goat’s milk and I can still eat (vanilla free) chocolate!!!

So I’m celebrating!  And crossing all of my fingers and toes that this will be a life changing, energy lifting and mood stabilizing endeavor!

Thanks for listening.

-  The Goat Cheese Lady

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Bread Making, chickens, classes, Farm Life, goats, Milking | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments