Tips to Avoid Ironing

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

I hate to iron.

No, that’s not the secret. It’s not really common knowledge either, but it’s not the secret.

I’ve also gained about 7 pounds, which I can’t quite figure out because I’m eating about the same and exercising a lot more. Even though that’s kind of personal, that’s not the secret either.

I keep telling myself that muscle weighs more than fat. It’s just that it isn’t muscle that’s hanging over the top of my pants. Oh well, whatever. There are things that are important in life and muffin tops are not one of them. Mostly I try to ignore it, but the days when I slip into a semi wrinkly, just out of the dryer pair of pants that I hung over the chair last night in hopes that the wrinkles would fall out by morning, are the days that I realize my time wearing zip-up button-fastened pants could soon be over.

I’ve lately contemplated shopping at the maternity store because at least everything there has elastic waist bands. Alternatively, I could shop at Sears in the elderware department but I’m guessing I’d come out looking more like a 43-year-old granny than a glowing, newly pregnant mom-to-be.  To further my argument for shopping in the motherhood section, two of my favorite skirts are my sister’s from when she had Lily in 2006. Who cares that she wore them when she was 9 months pregnant and I’ve worn them for the past 12 years not pregnant?   Is that weird?

Don’t answer that.

To thank you for your patience in my getting to the point, I’ll finally tell you the secret. There’s an upside to gaining 7 pounds and still squeezing into the pants that you wore when you were 7 pounds lighter. You actually don’t have to iron. When you paint them on, the wrinkles get stretched out.  You do that little dance to get each leg firmly impaled in the second skin, shake your hips to get the waist band up high enough, suck in to attempt pulling up the zipper without breaking a nail and fasten the top button before passing out.
Voila!  It’s miraculous!  The wrinkles are gone!
The fact that your underwear line also shows through is beside the point. Just wear a long shirt. Then, when your thighs stretch the side seams and each bend to pick something up off the floor threatens to rip open the butt seam, no one will really notice.
What they will notice are your nicely pressed pants. They may wonder if you bought them off the stretch pants rack or if they’re just snug khakis, but they won’t notice a wrinkle!
Unless of course, you have skinny ankles. Skinny ankles are a problem. Fat ankles would smooth the wrinkles out all the way down to your shoes, but skinny ankles won’t do that. Basically, you have a problem. Smooth sailing down to your knees, obvious non-ironing further south.  For this, there are two solutions.
1. Only wear capris.
2. Tuck your pants into knee high boots.
Either option can work, and you still won’t have to pick up an iron. The moral of this story is that, really, it’s always possible to look at the bright side!  Sure, your pants don’t fit, but heck! You don’t have to iron!

About The Goat Cheese Lady

I am Lindsey. At first I was a city girl. Growing up, the closest thing I had to farm animals were a cat and a cockatiel. In 2009, Herbert (my husband) and I bought our first milk goat and I instantly became an urban farmgirl, attempting to balance city and farm life..before I knew “urban homesteading” was a thing. That’s when we began The Goat Cheese Lady Farm, hence The Goat Cheese Lady blog you’re visiting now. After moving to the country in 2014, I embarked on life as a rural farmgirl. We continued teaching farm and cheesemaking classes, raising more goats and began construction on our cheese creamery. But life had other plans and in 2017, we decided that, due to financial and health issues, we had to close the farm for business. No more classes, no more creamery, a lot less milking. We went back to off farm jobs, I as an Occupational Therapist, Herbert in construction with his business, D&A Home Remodeling. At that point, I made a silent promise to myself that I would corral my entrepreneurial mind and focus on a job for a year. Well, it has been a year and I am back. Not to classes, cheese, soap or lotion, but back to writing. I love it. I’m not sure where it will lead me, but that’s where I’m starting. I’ll continue to write as The Goat Cheese Lady for now, and whatever the future holds, I’ll let you know. Our two boys are 14 and 11 and continue to be louder than my sister and I ever were. We have two dogs, Montaña and Flash, a cat, Jumpy, a flock of chickens and three goats. Yes, we still have Lucy, the goat who helped us start it all and was milked by over 1,000 people. She’s retired but still the boss. Chocolate provides enough milk for our family with some to spare for the dogs. Soccer friends, school friends, coyotes and mice are frequent visitors. There are way too many flies and every so often we see an owl. I’m glad you’re here. Sometimes you’ll laugh out loud, other times you’ll be inspired to appreciate the small things. My hope is that, over your morning cup of coffee or your afternoon work break, you’ll enjoy the antics and inspiration that are my daily life. Lindsey
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6 Responses to Tips to Avoid Ironing

  1. Susan Hilderbrand says:

    Oh my – Lindsay, you always make me smile 🙂
    Susan Hilderbrand

  2. Debie says:

    I love to hang my clothes outside. The trick I have is to wait until they are almost dry, then pop them in the dryer for 5-10 minutes. No wrinkles and they soften up.

  3. Susie Frazee says:

    Another good one, Lindsey. Haven’t we all been there with the weight gain. Fortunately for me about ironing I have always loved to iron. I used to trade ironing for dusting with friends because I hate to dust. Too bad I don’t live closer or I would love to do your ironing. Just a hint for you about dryers: they wrinkle the clothes. I hang my clothes outside on a line and the wrinkles aren’t so bad.
    Susie Frazee

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