Introducing The Goatee Lady!

(My friend Libby is in the hospital.  Hopefully this will generate some healing laughter for her.  Please click on the donate link to the right to make a donation to the Libby Fund to help her and her family with expenses while she is healing and unable to work.)

You all have been very sweet, supportive and curious about how my gluten-almond-vanilla-beef-pineapple-bean-cow dairy-chicken egg-etcetera-free diet is going.

The short answer is:  It’s going well.  I get momentarily derailed by the sight of a giant pizza, a tres leches with guava birthday cake or my mother-in-law’s beef stew, but I quickly recover and grab a piece of gluten-egg-dairy free corn bread spread with peanut butter and honey and a cold goat milk leche con cafe.  It’s actually been pretty easy.

A detail I didn’t share before is that I am also rubbing three types of hormone creams on my skin…progesterone, estrogen and testosterone.  My hormones tested pretty low, thus the recommendation by my doctors that I boost their levels topically.

Which brings me to a funny story.  Our land realtor’s name is Donny, and before we had even met him, he received a message from his broker asking him to call The Goat Cheese Lady.  Unfortunately for Donny’s mental status, he heard The Goatee Lady.  After finally meeting him,  introducing myself and presenting him with my bone shattering goat milker hand shake, his first words were:  “You don’t look much like a Goatee Lady!”

Well, Donny, that appears to be in question these days.

While standing at the sink a few weeks ago, doing my periodic facial hair check, I identified and tweezed the one pesky neck hair that began growing in long, thick and black a couple of years ago.  A sign of aging, I’m sure.  My grandmother used to beg me to promise that if she was ever unable, I would pluck her chin hairs.  I did that for her every time I saw her.  Since noticing the growth of my solitary neck hair, I had already been planning the conversation with my own granddaughter – “Honey, I have this one neck hair that has been growing ever since I was 37, please pluck it for me if you ever notice it reaching my collar.” 

That was my planned plea to my futurely loving granddaughter up until a couple of weeks ago, when I plucked the neck hair, then a right chin hair, then a left chin hair, then 4 other chin hairs.  “Hmmm!”  I thought to myself, “I’m aging faster than I thought!”  That is, until I realized this might be testosterone induced facial hair.  Soon, I may really have a goatee.  I’ll fit in well with my chosen animal companions.

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(I have begun to put more and more thought into getting some car tweezers.  You know, the ones you wish you had when you pull up to a stop light, thoughtfully put a hand to your chin, and get poked by an inappropriately sharp chin hair.)

But it gets worse.

Just yesterday while I was sitting down, I found myself gazing at my toes.  At the base of each big toe, there was hair.  Quite a bit of hair.  Now, as my childhood friend Shannon may recall, I have always, for some reason, had a bit of toe hair.  She always wondered WHY I didn’t SHAVE it!  Well, because I shave my LEGS!  Not my TOES!  Then in early adulthood, I realized my toes had balded.  They no longer showed evidence of their previous condition.  Which is why, as you can certainly imagine, I was shocked yesterday when it jumped to my attention that I have toe hair nearly long enough to braid.

Testosterone again?

Apparently, something I’m doing is promoting growth of facial and toe hair.  The minute a chest hair sprouts, you’ll know about it.  And if you call to schedule a class and a man answers calling himself The Goatee Lady, you’ll know it’s me.

–  The Goat Cheese Lady

P.P.S.  The excess hair is totally worth it.  The foods I’ve eliminated and the hormones I’ve added are giving me more energy.  I’ll do anything for that.  Even give up vanilla.

 

 

 

 

About The Goat Cheese Lady

I am Lindsey. At first I was a city girl. Growing up, the closest thing I had to farm animals were a cat and a cockatiel. In 2009, Herbert (my husband) and I bought our first milk goat and I instantly became an urban farmgirl, attempting to balance city and farm life..before I knew “urban homesteading” was a thing. That’s when we began The Goat Cheese Lady Farm, hence The Goat Cheese Lady blog you’re visiting now. After moving to the country in 2014, I embarked on life as a rural farmgirl. We continued teaching farm and cheesemaking classes, raising more goats and began construction on our cheese creamery. But life had other plans and in 2017, we decided that, due to financial and health issues, we had to close the farm for business. No more classes, no more creamery, a lot less milking. We went back to off farm jobs, I as an Occupational Therapist, Herbert in construction with his business, D&A Home Remodeling. At that point, I made a silent promise to myself that I would corral my entrepreneurial mind and focus on a job for a year. Well, it has been a year and I am back. Not to classes, cheese, soap or lotion, but back to writing. I love it. I’m not sure where it will lead me, but that’s where I’m starting. I’ll continue to write as The Goat Cheese Lady for now, and whatever the future holds, I’ll let you know. Our two boys are 14 and 11 and continue to be louder than my sister and I ever were. We have two dogs, Montaña and Flash, a cat, Jumpy, a flock of chickens and three goats. Yes, we still have Lucy, the goat who helped us start it all and was milked by over 1,000 people. She’s retired but still the boss. Chocolate provides enough milk for our family with some to spare for the dogs. Soccer friends, school friends, coyotes and mice are frequent visitors. There are way too many flies and every so often we see an owl. I’m glad you’re here. Sometimes you’ll laugh out loud, other times you’ll be inspired to appreciate the small things. My hope is that, over your morning cup of coffee or your afternoon work break, you’ll enjoy the antics and inspiration that are my daily life. Lindsey
This entry was posted in Cystic Fibrosis, Farm Life, funny stories and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Introducing The Goatee Lady!

  1. Marsha Lee says:

    Lindsey,
    I have never laughed so hard in ages!! Maybe because I resemble all your comments. I, too have spent hours with a magnifying mirror and tweezers. I’m pretty sure my avonex is the culprit…even though it is not listed as a side effect. Let me know if I need to come by to see your goatee!

    I can not donate to Libby right now since it’s not in my ‘Sister Patty Budget’. I will send healing thoughts her way, though.

    Keep me posted on the sale of the house. I know the right person will appear – kind of how the Aparicio family appeared some years ago. You have the most powerful Karma!!!

    Love,
    Aunt Marsha

  2. Andy Schlesinger says:

    Cafe con leche

    Sent from my iPad

    >

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