Because I have lost a few of mine.
Volunteering at elementary school field day yesterday, I took my self-induced bi-annual challenge to climb the rope.
Remember that thick, splintery rope that dangles from the ceilings of elementary school gyms across the country? Two years ago, I made it to the top. A proud moment for me and for my then 2nd grade son.
This year, I did not.
But I’m proud to say, Dad, I did my best. As evidenced by the fact that I slid down the rope from (sort-of) near the ceiling after my second, chest heaving attempt to make it to the top from the half way point: a strategically placed knot where tired climber may rest. My hands and arms were shot. I hung on the whole way down, trying to slow the slide by squeezing my grip harder, thus resulting in the missing fingerprints.
They stung at first.
Then came rinsing them under water to remove rope shards before donning the band aids. Now, THAT HURT. I took a deep breath, pretended I was my six-year-old whose mother tells him to “Get Over It, It’s Just A Cut” when he complains about putting a microscopic papercut into the bath water, then thrust my formerly-known-as-fingerprints under the cold stream of faucet water AND DID NOT SCREAM, although it felt like all the pins in an acupuncture office being jabbed into the open wounds.
There are pros and cons, I’ve decided, to having no fingerprints.
1. I am ready to finger box at a moment’s notice.
2. I can go undercover as a bank robber.
1. Typing in any other fashion than hunt-and-peck is out.
2. No piano playing. (Not really a problem, I haven’t played much since I was 10.)
3. Washing my hands without soaking the bandages is like doing cirque du soleil with my fingers.
BUT, when my now fourth grader (who made it to the top) told me, “It’s OK Mom, there are ten–thousand (in his school of 300) people in the school who can’t make it to the top…it’s not THAT embarrassing,” I reminded him in true good parenting fashion:
“I am not embarrassed. Yes, I would have liked to make it to the top, but I DID MY BEST and that’s the only thing that matters.”
– The Goat Cheese Lady