To Slaughter or To Be Slaughtered


Me:  To Slaughter

2 Chickens and 1 Rooster:  To Be Slaughtered.

I really never thought I could (would) bring myself to be the slaughterer.  The Animal Whisperer does that.  I don’t have a problem eating it, it’s just that I have had the luxury of staying in the kitchen to be the recipient of the slaughtered.  It arrives to me similar to how a grocery store chicken arrives to me.  Except without the styrofoam and plastic wrap.

This time was different.  The Animal Whisperer had surgery on his wrist and thus has (temporarily) lost his slaughtering capability.  But, he brought home two free hens and one free rooster.  To eat them.

Enter: Me. 

The Slaughterer.

I’ve seen various stages of the process, but have never actually done any of it myself.  Nothing.  Nada.

So, I decided it was my time.  My time to live up to my farm girl persona.  Time to see if I have what it takes to be considered a pretty good, pretty real farm girl. 

That’s me after I killed the first one.  Notice the slightly disgusted look on my face. 

I did not enjoy the actual killing part.  I’ve never taken the life of any living thing bigger than a stink bug.  But, I did it.  I followed most of the Animal Whisperer’s directions for how to do it and what to do.  The boys watched.  I do believe they were actually proud of their mother.  At least I like to think that, anyway.

My father, on the other hand, is shocked. 

And, my mother.

I proudly told them that night at dinner that I had slaughtered, all by myself, my first chickens that day, and in a rare occurence in our family, my dad was speechless. 

My mom spoke, although not very intelligibly.

Dad is still adjusting to what the heck happened to his college-educated-daughter-turned-Laura-Ingalls.  He still loves me, of that I’m certain, but it is quite possible that he will never adjust. 

I’ve told them both that they will not be going to nursing homes when the time comes…which won’t be any time soon.  They don’t have time to fit a nursing home in any time in the next 35 years due to their busy schedule of cycling, exercising, traveling, and thoroughly enjoying retirement.  But, if the time ever comes that they might need to have a lot more care, I’ve told them, they’re moving here. 

To my house. 

I’ll cut their toenails.  (Something that has concerned my mom for years).

I’ll take care of them.

So, Dad, you’ll just have to adjust to eating home-grown chicken and drinking goat’s milk.  Maybe by that time you’ll need everything pureed, so you won’t know the difference anyway.

And, Mom, I know you’ll just smile and eat it no matter what I give you.

I love you both.

And, one of those chickens was REALLY good the other night in the soup I made.

–  The Goat Cheese Lady


About The Goat Cheese Lady

I am Lindsey. At first I was a city girl. Then I was an urban farmgirl, attempting to balance city and farm life. Now, after moving to the country, I have embarked on life as a rural farmgirl, complete with my husband, the Animal Whisperer, man of exceptional knowledge and patience, two boys who are louder than my sister and I ever were, a herd of milking goats, and a flock of egg-laying chickens. Coyotes, mice, country dogs and prairie dogs are frequent visitors. Just 45 minutes north is Colorado Springs, the setting for our first six years in the goat world. Our family. Our city friends. Our introduction to cheesemaking. But we...and our growing farm and soon-to-be creamery...have set up shop down off of Highway 115 in Penrose, Colorado.
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7 Responses to To Slaughter or To Be Slaughtered

  1. Melanie says:

    I was thinking the same thing as Melina. LOVE your dad’s reponse. He sounds like a sweet and entertaining guy.

  2. Dad, I love you. You can have a Martini. With goat’s milk.
    – Lindsey

  3. Melina says:

    You had me worried for a minute when you went from slaughtering chickens to saying your parents don’t have to worry about being in a nursing home…

  4. Dad says:

    I hunted. I fished. I am a Marine, and I am a succesful, and now retired businessman. If the goatcheeselady and her family have to take care of me in my old age, I’ll eat the home grown chickens. I’ve done that before. I’ll bathe with the goat milk soap. (I currently shower with Dove, another animal.) However, I will not drink the goat milk. (Even my granddaughter refuses it.) I prefer the fat free Farm Crest milk from cows, and I can afford to have delivered. Seriously, I am very proud of my daughter. I actually believe that she is a throwback to her ancestors who had to live off the land. Can I still have a Martini?

  5. Rachel says:

    Been there done that! Good job.

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