Go to the doctor at the grocery store.
It’s totally worth it.
I showed up at the grocery store yesterday at 8:30 am with my 4-year-old, as you may recall, for his preschool physical, which I almost forgot to get done before he started school today (*see note below).
The grocery store? You may ask?
Yes. The $29 plus NO tax doctor at the grocery store.
A flat, even $29 bucks. That’s it.
Before I go any further, I’d like you to know that I have NO affiliation with Kroger, King Soopers or The Little Clinic, except that I buy some groceries there. To be exact, they have an affiliation with my debit card. Not me.
Side note: While I’m writing this, I can hear Cool Runnings playing downstairs on the VCR (yes. VCR. Stop laughing.) Sanka just said, “Ya, well my grandfatha said GET BACK TO WORK!” I might have a hard time concentrating while I’m writing. Forgive me.
Back on track now. For a minute.
We showed up at The Little Clinic. We were greeted by a really friendly lady at the front desk…actually more like a podium thing big enough fit a small computer on. She told us to sign in over there.
In the corner, using a touch screen to fill out my son’s information. It took about 5 minutes.
Since we were the first ones there, we had no wait. No turning in the registration form and hearing, Thankyou, now I’ll need a copy of your insurance card and your ID, and we’ll get the chart ready and we’ll call you back as soon as the doctor’s ready.
None of the usual falderal. Just a bright smile and: OK! Come on in!
An oversized closet with all the usual doctor’s office stuff in it. The stethoscope around her neck. The black and silver pokey-look-in-your-ear-and-up-your-nose-and-in-your-eyes-thing and the digital thermometer. The white walls and the bed with the paper rolled out on it and the cabinets and the stainless steel sink with the antibacterial soap right on the wall.
The difference, I found out? This one costs $29. The other one costs $260.
Valerie, I found out, is a proud Nurse Practitioner. I learned, Nurse Practitioners can do everything a doctor can do except surgery. I’m not sure I’d go to the grocery store anyway if I needed surgery.
But then again, I never thought I’d even go to the bank at the grocery store. Ya never know.
So, Valerie E. Joyce, FNP-BC, completed my son’s physical. She did all the usual things. Except that she spent a LONG time answering all of my questions. She, although I’m sure she knew that the wait out in the front of the closet was getting long, did not seem rushed at all. She even agreed to pose for a picture.
She even said I could say all this stuff about her.
Oh, another thing, when it was over, and we were still in the exam room, she said, “That’ll be $29!” I handed her my debit card. She swiped it right there and handed me a receipt. She did not hand me that big piece of paper with all those codes and words on it and she did not tell me, “Just take this to the front desk and they’ll get you checked out.”
She also called the prescription in to the pharmacy. That I had to walk 50 feet to get to.
Now. It’s not all $29 roses, though. It’s $29 if it’s a school or sports physical. But, if you’re sick, it’s $69. Still not bad though. Especially for those of us that don’t have insurance. AND, if you DO have insurance, you just pay your deductible and they bill the insurance for the rest.
So, in conclusion: Drink raw milk. Eat fresh eggs. Grow an organic garden. Raise a couple goats if you can. Go to the doctor at the grocery store.
- The Goat Cheese Lady
* It was not until we showed up at my son’s first day of school today to an empty classroom that I learned school doesn’t start till Monday. I hold true to my claim that I was misinformed inadvertently by someone who seemed to know what they were talking about. Except I can’t remember who. Or when.